Tips: Writing A Best Man’s Speech
Pass these on and avoid any shockers!
Wahoooo. Your wedding day is swiftly approaching! It is set to be the best day of your life. Everything is planned, everything is ready and now it’s all about marrying the person you love and throwing one hell of a shindig! Party aside, the true emotion at any wedding comes from the heartfelt speeches. We’ve all been privy to awkward best man speeches, long-winded routines performed by bridesmaids and monotonous ramblings from that random uncle. So in this series of tips, we are going to guide your loved ones to give a speech that they (and you!) will be happy (insert sigh of relief here) to remember and your guests will love. First up is the naughtiest of the bunch… the Best Man speech.
1) Be Funny
The pressure is on for the Best Man because everyone expects them to be one thing… funny. Not just ‘ha ha’ funny but ‘gut wrenchingly’ funny. Just remember two things: this is a toast and not a roast and please, remember your audience! You are not there to humiliate the groom and upset the bride; you’re there to make sure everyone has a good time and a giggle. But make sure you get some good old mockery in there, you can’t let them off that lightly.
2) Give Yourself Time
Leave yourself enough time to write the speech. Very few of us can naturally wing it and have the audience laughing at everything we say. Prepare stories and categorise them; this will make structuring your speech much easier. Think of stories about the groom, the happy couple or the three of you together. It won’t go down too well if you talk only about the two of you and include in-jokes that no one is going to understand! Obviously there has to be a few – you’re the best man. And you’ve got a lot of stories!
3) Pick a Theme
A good speech has a theme as this creates a flow. Rather than a random recollection of unconnected stories, think of a theme to tie it all together. A great theme to use is how on earth did X manage to ‘get’ Y. This allows you to bring up funny stories of X and flatter Y. Embarrassing jobs, stupid incidents, bad fashion – it can all come out – and it keeps a great tone as the speech is focused on the bride and what she is taking on!
4) Test It Out
Always read your speech to a third party, at least several days before the wedding, so that you have enough time for editing. Tip: do not read it to one of the groomsmen, no matter how much you want to. What may seem funny to the two of you over a pint may not be hilarious to the audience on the day. (Obviously it is funny but grandma might not think so.) Oh, and bring a printed copy of the speech with you, so that you aren’t panicked and scribbling last minute notes.
5) Compliments All Round
Compliment the bride and mention how lovely the bridesmaids look. This is traditionally expected in a Best Man speech and will get you extra brownie points!
6) Pace Yourself
Don’t be too drunk or go on for longer than ten minutes, both are guaranteed recipes for disaster. Instead, speak calmly to the bride and groom and leave time for all that laughter! There’s the rest of the night to hit the jaeger bombs! Use this sneaky tool to work out how long your speech will take – http://readtime.eu!
7) It’s all about the future
DON’T: mention any ex-girlfriends or conquests, at all, ever. It will only create awkwardness.
8) Mr and Mrs – Wahey!
Start your speech with a reference to his “wife” or “Mr and Mrs” as that will always guarantee an enthusiastic response from the guests. As will a few self-depreciating jokes, which are guaranteed to put the audience on your side.
9) Do Your Homework
Lastly, if you’re talking at a multicultural wedding, find out about any interesting sayings in the native language or fun and exciting traditions, as that shows you made an effort to connect with all of the guests.
Most of all enjoy yourself. You’re talking about your best friend and their amazing new bride. So have fun gathering all the stories, enjoy it and then party the night away!
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